Ben rapping

to Sir Mix-a-Lot’s “Baby Got Back” while making me breakfast

So find that juicy double

Ben-a-Lot’s in trouble

Upon purchasing

a $5 “mystery bag” from a used book store at a block sale.

Me: There’s a calendar in here… from 2002.

Clerk (defensively): The pictures are still good.

I asked my sister

how come our mom never taught us Korean swear words:

can you imagine mama trying to teach us swear words? she’d have a heart attack. i wrote her a note that was like “wtf is this” and mama was like, “what’s ‘wtf’?” i said, “what the, you know, eff,” and mama said, “where do you pick up this language???”

: what’d you just trip over?

: my feet.

: no, what’d you trip on?

: …my feet.

“Who hasn’t asked himself, am I a monster or is this what it means to be human?”

— Clarice Lispector, The Hour of the Star

(Source: themillions.com, via millionsmillions)

This morning

I a) burned my french toast then b) poured the syrup on while still in the pan.

Ate it anyway.